All 13 game Reviews

Friday: The Game Friday: The Game

Rated 5 / 5 stars


I absolutely loved this game. Going in, I figured that this would be some lame game trying to capitalize on the success of another viral phenomenon. What I got was surprising. I don't normally write reviews without any criticisms, but I genuinely can't think of one. It wasn't long, but it didn't have to be. The art and music really worked. I couldn't find a single bug or glitch. There was REAL humor and wit. The "Shit" command did inspire some laughter in me, seeing as I love the game "Don't Shit Your Pants!" I think this game truly deserves a higher score that what it already has. Well done sir.

By the by, was that a big orange dildo on Rebecca's dresser? Not trying to be foul; just wondering.

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Manly-Chicken responds:

Pjorg that rascal...
EDIT: Pjorg doesn't think it is.

Bieber Metamorph Bieber Metamorph

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Damn Pedophile.

First off, I really enjoyed this game. I'm not sure what it is, but there's a certain charm that hooked me on playing right until the end. That said, the game is VERY simple in nature. Although it DOES suffer from repetitive gameplay, I didn't find this to be a crippling flaw. I was perfectly content with playing the same level 40 or 50 times, because seeing Bieber "backwards age" was utterly satisfying in and of itself.

The real thorn in this lion's paw is the audio. Just after hitting play it became apparent to me that your microphone is not up to snuff. The speech seemed muffled and suffered from background noise which made it hard to hear some parts of the dialogue. My recommendation: buy a better mic. I'm sure that you're a fine voice actor, but the rubbish audio is holding you back. I should also point out the lack of variety in sound clips. After a while I got tired of hearing "damn pedophile!" and "we love you Bieber!" I'm pretty sure the police only had two sound clips associated with them and when you die (or become incapacitated), there's only one phrase Bieber has to offer. Perhaps the introduction of more sound clips would have improved this. After all, for such a long game, you're going to hear a lot of the same thing.

I really liked the art style of this game, although I would have liked to have seen a bigger variety in characters or "props." Playing the same level 50 times isn't very exciting to the general population (I didn't mind it, but...) so maybe a change in setting every once in a while would improve the game's dynamics. Nothing HUGE is needed, just maybe place the rubbish bin or hydrant box in a new location. This could add both variety and a new challenge to the player as he/she attempts to navigate around more (or less) obstacles. I get that the concept called for a single park to be the setting for all these harassments but variety could have improved the game.

I should also note that, much to the contrary of other reviewers, I DIDN'T mind the ads. They don't seem as in your face as other reviewers claim. I respect the fact that you're trying to make some cash off your game, and so you should have that right. The ads didn't break the game for me. However, I didn't really find the "bonus videos" to be all that entertaining. Frankly, I didn't watch any of them the whole way through. Definitely something that could have been omitted. Also, it's a nitpicky thing, but the font selection was not fantastic. I would have went with a more bold font on the upgrades menu. It just makes things easier on the eyes.

Overall, I really liked this game. Don't look at all my criticisms and think that I hated this game, I actually loved it. It was fun and held my interest right up until the end. The fact that you can continue playing after you've become 16 again is kind of pointless, but hell, I still loved it. Good job mate! I'm looking forward to more from you guys!

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When Pigs Fly When Pigs Fly

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Pretty Lame

First of all, I didn't finish this game, towards the end it just didn't seem to intrest me. The graphics were very basic, and I know it's a pixel game, but I thought the graphics were a bit below average. The music was good, although I would have preferred more than 1 song, and the control was smooth (If not a little jumpy at times).

However, the gameplay was VERY stale. I didn't like the fact that you couldn't walk while on the ground (But I can see how walking could eliminate some of the challenge of the game), but the lack of depth is what ruined the game for me. I must have played through 35+ levels and still didn't find anything too intresting. I think enemies that move around or, I don't know, puzzles that require timing would have really improved the game's fun factor. Also, the later puzzles were actually quite difficult to complete. I felt that the game could have benifited with a difficulty setting. Perhaps on the easy setting you could have a "Wing Integrity" bar, that allows a few bounces off walls before your wings break. That way less people would leave bad reviews claiming the game was too hard. My final gripe is that, on slower computers the game does lag quite a bit, but, oh well what can you do?

The concept I must say is very original, and I think you could have done alot more with the idea of pigs flying. The game was fun at times, but after a few levels, the repetive gameplay made me wish the next screen would be the last. Good luck on a sequel if you ever make one!

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Zombie Killer 2072 AD Zombie Killer 2072 AD

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

An overall "meh" shooter.

What can I say? I can't say much about the graphical quality of the flash, seeing as it was made in June, 2000. But, as far as gameplay goes, this was a bit... sketchy.

My first complaint was that it was just too hard. If you shoot a zombie's head so much, it dissolves... It should probably go down. However, I found myself just mashing my mouse button and blind firing in order to take them down. Although, having more health in the easier difficulties is good, it really serves no purpose if I can't kill anything. The bat... things (?) were alright, seeing as they actually put forth a little strategy into the game, so kudos for that.

Now, the "Simon" game (The color-matching one) was alright, but I found that most of the time I couldn't see the lights. Not because they were hidden or too dim; mostly because they simply didn't appear. So, I found my self forced to just guess based off of sound (Which, as you could guess, ended badly).

I did manage to (Eventually) get the door open, but I found what was inside rather disheartening-- The path you take when you fail the "Simon" game was... easier? Yeah, waaay easier in fact.

I never did bother to make it past the fireplace, but did manage to take the other path right up to the... Spaceship? I never knew zombies had access to N.A.S.A. Ah well... The helicopter was surprisingly simple; too simple. And I really felt as if the helicopter and the spaceship's health bars drained too slowly for my liking. I was taking no damage, yet it took me about 5 minutes (Of boredom) to take the chopper down. I didn't get to see the ending, but I can only assume it wouldn't be worth it.

The music was... Well, it was music alright (I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...) Anyways, as I said previously, I can't really mention the graphics (Due to the age), but I will say this: Those zombie heads were horrid quality, even for 2000. As far as sound effects go, What the hell was I listening to when I got hurt? Sounded like a cat puking. Just one more thing that troubles me, why were there no health packs later on in the game, there was one useless one that the second enemy drops and one other one, but why none after the door?

I give this game a five, because of it's age, if this were submitted today I would have given this a zero, but for 2000 it's really not all THAT bad. Improve the gameplay vastly and this could have had a better score. And by that I don't mean add more depth, just make what you have better. But overall, an alright shooter.

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ZombieSimulator ZombieSimulator

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Good... For Awhile

As I've said, it was fun for a little while, but then got boring.

It's pretty intresting to experiment with the people and zombie combinations, and the game engine was well made.

But, what this game really needs is more features. Maybe other weapons, traps, or weapons the zombies can use. This would have transformed the game from a little 5-minute time waster, into a full game.

Overall: 7/10 Well excecuted, but needs more depth and features!

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Internet For The Blind Internet For The Blind

Rated 3 / 5 stars


Hmm... it was okay... It kind of make you realize how hard it is for a blind person to use a computer... or do pretty much anything for that matter.

Well, it was an intresting concept, but I can't really give you points for art or animation, pecause there wasn't any... Well, the voice acting was good anyways, and the music was alright.

Hmm... not too much replay value, so... 6/10.

Pretty well made.

Split 'em Up Split 'em Up

Rated 4 / 5 stars


I found this game to be a very entertaining, arcade-style shooter.

as far as gameplay goes, this game was stupendous, it had the feel of the Atari classic Space Invaders, but with the fun twist of being able to split your weapons. This really employed a new challenge, and the music just heightened the overall feel of the game.

The only thing I can tell you to improve on is, the game got fairly repetive after awhile, but was still a fun shooter!

Overall: 8/10

In What Location Is Mike? In What Location Is Mike?

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Not bad

A fairly decent idea for a game. The art was very visualy appealing, and seemed to be the highlight of the game. Some music would have improved the quality of this and it could've had a wider range of SFX, other than that, a great time waster!

Overall: 8/10

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The '90's Kid' Quiz The '90's Kid' Quiz

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Actually pretty good

It was a good quiz and it really represented a whole lot of 90's popculture. Although, I'm not English and I couldn't get many of the TV show questions. Still, the quiz brought back a bunch of memories...

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Bloody Rage Bloody Rage

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

It was OK

The game was pretty good, in the sense that it was a good fighter, and it had a traditional 2-D fighting style (Similar to Mortal Kombat, or Street Fighter).

Also, for me the character roster was great, and the ability to customize your character, was a cool feature!

However, the gameplay suffered some major flaws... One of them being the games various special moves and attacks. Now special moves are good, but too many button combos can ruin a game. I could remember one or two, but not the whole moveset.

Secondly, the game seemed to be largely a button-masher. Because, I couldn't remember all the moves, I found myself, at many times, to be tapping random arrow keys and L + K.

Third, the CPU character just seemed to start off the match coming right at you, and stuffs you into a corner, faster than you can counter-strike. Plus, the moving and jumping just felt sticky most of the time...

But my main quarrel with this game is that there was no block button, thus, there was no strategy being employed other than just tapping buttons and arrow keys. A fighting game needs a block button!

For you're next fighting game (If you make another one) I would try to spice up the gameplay. Maybe add items, Interactive stages, whatever...

I really don't hate this game, and I'm not one of those people who only focus on small things like "Yodaa duznt hve too litesabres u n00b!!!1" I'm only trying to give you ffedback on things to improve on for future reference! So, don't take this too badly! :)

Overall, this was one of the better fighting games on NG, with some unique features, but just seemed a little lacking in gamplay.

7/10 Good work!

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